Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we made out on top of his cat.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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