So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
