Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize