my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
