My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
