can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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