im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
