I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
