So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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