Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
