Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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