I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Farmville is her only friend.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
