try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
