He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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