So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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