and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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