Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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