everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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