That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
