im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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