Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
