so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize