If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
