This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
