just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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