How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
