I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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