theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
