You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
