Can Purell be used as lube?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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