you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
