I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
