My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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