im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
