No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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