Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My day in three words: secret purse cake
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
