Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your penis caused this!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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