2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
