Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I licked your asshole in confidence.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
