we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
