whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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