Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
