she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
