The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
