brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
