Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
