If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just found puke in my bra..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
