i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
