I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
