i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
