He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
