nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
