I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I stole a fireplace last night.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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