Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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