She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
