Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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