so that wasnt chicken after all
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
