Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
