this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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