i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
