Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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