Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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