she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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