The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
