Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
this boner is exhausting
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
