Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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