I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
