i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
